Friday, November 30, 2012

Adjusted

It's easy to give good advice.  You know what you have to do?  You have to take a long hard look at all the ways you've fucked up in life and advise people not to repeat your mistakes.

An unexpected consequence of making this blog available to family and friends is that they sometimes speak to me privately about what I write here.  Other than a few frowns from my more biblically inclined family, I rarely get specific reactions on the funny things I write.  I get a lot of "you are so funny on there" kind of comments.

The comments on the more serious pieces are always specific.  The ones dealing with suicide bring tales of people's attempts or of loved ones they lost and what my story has meant to them.  It's an odd thing to be known for but if I can help anyone going through those kinds of times I am more than happy to help.  It brings a little meaning to the senseless loss my family went through.

The comments that really catch me off guard are the ones on some of the advice pieces I've done.  No one ever comes out and says it but it sometimes seems like people think I am far more well adjusted than I actually am.

Just because I can see the right course doesn't mean I always follow it.  The day after writing about how the day is what you make of it, I spent the day in a mostly crappy mood because someone irritated me and I couldn't let it go.

I'm stubborn and impulsive.  I happily cut off my nose to spite my face to make points no one but me cares about.  I rush to judgement, I wallow in self pity, I say things I wish I could take back.  I get my feelings hurt when I know no one meant to hurt my feelings, I react before I have all the facts, and I sometimes wish I could change the past.

All the advice you've read here comes from the fights I've had with my own demons.  Yes, I'm a pretty happy guy but not because I was born that way.  I've struggled with all of the issues you've read about and the advice you read is just the thought process I've used to win those battles against myself. 


They say experience is the best teacher, the advice you read here simply shows I'm a good student.

8 comments:

  1. I'd say myself that even though some of the experiences are bad and regretful, they're all worth having... It's just lifes lessons and no that's in no way advice! In other news, thank you Monkey for all of your kind words on my blog. You're a good friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thing is, some people don't pay attention to the things life is trying to teach so profane monkeys are called upon to deliver the message. :)

      I do try to be a good friend. The right words seem to escape me sometimes though. I do try.

      Delete
  2. I love your honesty, Monkey! I think most of us are far wiser than we give ourselves credit for and often we don't behave as if we know better. We are impulsive and we do get easily sidetracked by the issues of the day. I know what kind of person I want to be, I just don't always make the mark. But awareness is the first step, a lot of folks out there don't even have a clue what track they're on! So we blow it one day, the next day we try again, and it gets easier each time... always start again, never give up... that is the final answer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really am surprised by how together people think I am based on what I write. Knowing the right thing and doing the right thing are not always the same. I make mistakes like everyone else. I just really try to learn from them.

      Delete
  3. That's why when people ask if I would go back and change anything in my life, I answer no. Life can be tough but it's not for me to understand the whys of how it happened but to learn from it instead and hopefully teach others not to make the same mistakes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. If nothing else, I'm an excellent "what not to do" example. :)

      Delete
  4. Yes, indeed. Experience is good school but the fees are high.

    ReplyDelete