Fat Rant

I read an article that annoyed me.  I know, I know, that happens a lot and hardly seems worth pointing out anymore.  Grab a drink and settle in folks, Monkey is about to Rant.

Paul Mason is a fat fuck.  But it's ok, he's not as fat of a fuck as he used to be.  I've upset readers before with this topic, I'll address that in a moment. For now, what's important is that he's a really fat fuck. 

Paul wasn't fat because of a medical condition, he was fat because he was eating 10 times the daily recommended calories every day of his fat fuck life.  In other words, he was eating a week and a half worth of food every damn day.  In a world where some still die from hunger, you're not going to make me feel bad about calling this guy a fat fuck for his grotesque eating habits leading him to be so fat the fire department had to cut a wall off his house to remove his fat ass from his home.

I don't care that he was fat.  What pisses me off is how the media makes celebrities out of these fat fucks.  "He's fat, isn't it sad?"  No, not really.  When you eat enough to feed a starving African village for a week and you gain a shitload of weight from it, it's not a tragedy, it's the inevitable outcome of excessive indulgence.

Speaking of the inevitable, rants like this always lead to someone telling me that there are circumstances where people just can't control their weight gain.  I don't dispute this.  But when was the last time you read an article or saw an overweight person on TV that got that way from a medical condition?  I am all for highlighting medical conditions that lead to obesity.  Public awareness is a good thing.  But this guy got fat by eating too much.  That is not a medical condition, it's a self control problem.

This isn't my first fat fuck rodeo, nothing you say to me will make me feel bad for any language I use to describe this guy.  Not having food to eat is a tragedy, eating yourself into the record books is pathetic.

But he has an excuse and that brings us to number two on our "why he's ranting" playlist.

Paul claims he over-ate because he was bullied as a child and it was made worse when his father died.  His father died when Paul was a grown man but hey, he's looking for sympathy.  Bullies are being blamed for all our societal ills right now and dead dads always bring compassion so who cares if it's probably all bullshit.

Let me say this as plainly as I can, it does not matter what you've been through, you own your choices.  You are responsible for your actions.  If you want to compare shitty childhoods, step up and show me what ya got.  Bullying and losing a parent after you were an adult?  You think that's a reasonable excuse?

"But Frank, not everyone is as strong as you are."

Bullshit. Again, let me be very clear here, I am not special in this regard.  I have many talents, not blaming my childhood for any shortcomings is not one of them. Paul doesn't deserve sympathy, he deserves shame.  Not because he's fat but because he did it to himself and even now refuses to take responsibility for it.

The article closes with a short description of how the folks across the pond are fighting obesity for people living on the system.  Fat people getting public benefits are prescribed exercise and if they don't participate, their benefits are cut.  I have no problem with this.

The last line says, "The British Medical Association called the plan “silly” and said the best way to cut the £5.1billion cost of Britain’s obesity epidemic is to stop food outlets selling fatty grub."

Apparently, people can't be expected to control themselves, it's not their fault.  If only stores didn't sell chips, Fat Fuck McGee wouldn't have ate 20 bags a day.  While this is over in the UK, similar thinking has taken hold here.  New York City has banned the sale of large sodas because dammit, they are making people fat.

It might seem minor but freedom was lost here.  And why?  Because some people can't control themselves.  It's actually a fucking crime to sell a large soft drink.  That's what our "excuse behavior at all costs" society has become.  And to some, that makes sense.  What the fuck?


No one thinks twice about telling a smoker how bad the habit is, how smoke stinks, how it's killing the smoker.  But tell a fat fuck that they should step away from the donuts, that they smell like rotten ass, how that fifth helping of a carb packed dinner is killing them and you're the asshole.

You really want to impact obesity?  Stop treating it as a tragedy, demand these people accept responsibility for the choices they make.  Stop getting mad at those of us who point out how insane it is that a man could weigh as much as a piece of farm equipment and start getting mad at the guy eating a month's worth of groceries in three days.