Yet another new provision has been found in Obama's health care law. Smokers are about to get fucked. I'm not going to go on a rant about the shitball health care bill force fed to we the people against our collective will. Rather, I'm going to go on a rant at you fucking anti-smokers and your inability to get the fuck over me and my cigarette.
Smoking is not good for you. That should go without saying. I am not arguing that it is healthy or that it's no big deal. It takes years off of your life. But, they are the end years when you're likely wearing a diaper and being inappropriately touched by nursing home staff. Not a strong argument for quitting.
There is the smell, which even most smokers don't care for but if you wash it doesn't stay with you. I smoke like it's my god damn job and people constantly remark "I didn't know you smoke." Sure, if I just had one the smoke lingers for a moment but then it passes. I smoke in well ventilated areas and wash my ass daily.
Next we have the risk to others. You know, the others who have no issue with alcohol being legal. Gotta tell you, I've never seen anyone die from someone lighting a cigarette and getting behind the wheel of a car. I've seen whole movements about the deaths caused by drunk douchebags.
But none of that is really what I want to express here.
What I really want to say is, your turn is coming.
In an effort to legislate my morality, the cigarettes I love so much have been taxed excessively in the name of the children. Yes, cigarette taxes pay for a whole bunch of things for those pesky little rascals. Health care for poor kids being primary among those things.
So what happens when laws like Obama care or the purposed law in Oregon to require a prescription for cigarettes causes everyone to quit? Well, everyone will be healthier and live longer, provided they don't get hit by a bus or shot in an alley or drown in their tubs or die any other way! Everything will smell better! And no one will kill you with their awful evil cigarettes!
And, you are going to have to pay for it. See, all that lost revenue will have to be made up. They are going to have to tax something else for the children, and for the sudden abundance of elderly people who didn't die from smoking.
Don't worry, the groundwork has already been laid for the next evil. Sorry fat fucks, your turn is next. For your own good, and of course those lovable children, you're going to have to pay more for snackie cakes, soda, and anything else some douche in DC decides is more than you need to consume.
And once they make all the fat fucks skinny, something else will have to be taxed, now for the children, the old smokers who never died, and the formerly fat. Folks, if we cure smokers and fat people from their vices, we're going to need to make up a lot of revenue.
You're not a smoker and you're not fat so it doesn't affect you, right? Wrong. Eventually they will get to your vice. They've already tasted the tax revenue and their hunger can't be satiated. And when that day comes, and you're bitching about how it's no ones business what you do, I'll be there laughing my ass off. And I'll remind you that had you left me to my devices, I'd either be dead or my lungs would be so useless I couldn't laugh were it not for your holier than thou anti-smoking bullshit.