Wednesday, February 20, 2013

It's in the Stars

The current trend of my facebook friends and family is to post defining characteristics of their zodiac sign.  I won't lie to ya, I enjoy reading what makes a Taurus a Taurus.  I love being the strong headed bull...errr...Monkey.  And it is surprising how many traits fit me so perfectly.  Of course, the traits are so broad they could apply to anyone but it's still fun to read.

The problem I have with it is that there doesn't seem to be a zodiac sign for all the shitheads out there.  The traits are always positive.  I can't be the only one to notice a large portion of the population is lazy, arrogant, fucktarded, spiteful, angry, and/or a drain on everyone they encounter.

That pretty much sums up my problem with all new age stuff, it seems to view all people as inherently good.  Then again, what can you expect from something called "new age" that has it's roots in the ancient past?  A cosmic oxymoron. 

I just want to read one of these zodiac trait listings that says, "Cancer - You do not want to have anything to do with this miserable cocksucker," or "Gemini - This two faced conniving bitch will steal your husband and your wallet.  Might steal your dog, too."


5 comments:

  1. I loved the Taurus info you posted on FB, you need to add it here! :-) While it is my personal opinion that Aquarian's have no negative traits, pretty much everything I have ever read about them tends to be true. One of their curious quirks is an odd affection for stubborn Taurus monkeys.

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    1. Heh, I should have posted that here. Might still one day but I have a post about to explode out of me.

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  2. Welp, according to "Darkside Zodiac" by Stella Hyde, you're "...a stubborn, sybaritic, rut-bound bully, fueled by dull resentment and an insatiable love of money."

    In "Born on a Rotten Day," Hazel Dixon-Cooper writes that Taureans are insensitive cheapskates whose "...idea of excitement is switching from the food channel to Wrestlemania."

    Finally, "How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign" by Adele Lang & Susi Rajah warns that, "...when he's not running and therefore ruining your life for you, the Taurus bastard is busy being chronically lazy."

    To conclude, the fact that I do, indeed, own the above books can only confirm that I'm a capricious, unstable Sagittarian spendthrift, with a morbid fear of restraint. :-D

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    1. Lol, I love all of those...and sadly, some of them fit.

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  3. God I really do hate Blogger. This post didn't show up on my dashboard at all.

    I'm a Gemini and I definitely would not still another woman's husband...though I might steal her wallet...and her dog...:)

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