Friday, March 22, 2013

Breaking Up

Her name was Lisa, a short cute girl with long blond hair.  She asked her friend to ask me to "go out with her."  I said yes and our whirlwind fourth grade romance began.  I can't remember ever saying a word to her but we did exchange some pretty intense cross-class stares.  Alas, all good things come to an end.  Lisa took a liking to Jasper and she had her friend tell me that we had broken up.

I would have been heartbroken but the next day she came into class with her beautiful long hair cut into a rat tail.  Poor Jasper had to stare across the room at that.  I still think that is why he stole and broke my pencil, she was mine when she was cute, his when she looked like a shaved Barbie.

Lisa was the first and last girl to ever break up with me.  Every other relationship ended because we moved, my mother forbid me to talk to the girl because of issues she had with the girl's mother, or I was ready to move on.

I have no frame of reference when it comes to dealing with being dumped.  I can tell ya how to break up (I recommend moving, it is by far the easiest), but when it comes to having your heart broken by the fairer sex, I have no experience to draw from.

This realization struck me earlier this week when my youngest son broke it off with his girlfriend.  It was his choice so I didn't have to give advice but if he had needed it, I had nothing.  My standard advice for guys in this situation doesn't really apply to my 15 year old son.  "Go fuck someone else, you'll feel better" just doesn't seem appropriate.

I have no conclusion here.  I'm really at a loss for how to respond should any of my children ever get their hearts broken.  Right now, I'm just praying it doesn't happen before they are of legal drinking age.  

6 comments:

  1. When my son had his heart broken, my heart was broken too. It sucked. My first instinct was to say what say what a terrible person she was and he was better off without her but than I remembered something from my high school days. I remembered doing that once before and then the couple got back together and the girl was mad at me for trash talking her boyfriend. I didn't want to make that mistake with my son so I held my tongue and it's a good thing I did because they got back together and while I'm not a fan of his girlfriend, I put up with her...for now...

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    1. Yeah, I think I'll stick with, "there are other fish in the sea" kinda stuff. Too often failed romances try again.

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  2. Your story of Lisa was a delightful tale, a peek at your earlier years. It is funny that we seem to handle the ups and downs of relationships more simply and with more acceptance than we do as adults. No matter how devastating a break up might be, and how much it tears a hole in one's heart and self-confidence at the moment, it is my belief that people come and go in our lives for a reason and if someone leaves, it is because your paths are moving in different directions and it is time to move on. Acceptance brings some peace... so does a strong drink and a good lay (at least for a night or two :-)

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    1. Very well said. So many people have trouble letting go. Thing is, if you're the only one interested in keeping it going, nothing good can ever come from it.

      Seems that the most basic of logic escapes us in matters of the heart.

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  3. Luckily for me, Spawn thinks Dung Beetles are much more fascinating than girls and is set on remaining a-sexual for a while, (that's what he actually told me)well at least until his hormones kick in. When that does finally happen, he'll be locked safely away in the attic, cos I can't see anyone being good enough for my baby. So it's not going to be something that I have to worry about in the near future. :)

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    1. That reminds me of something my mom would say.

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