Her name was Lisa, a short cute girl with long blond hair. She asked her friend to ask me to "go out with her." I said yes and our whirlwind fourth grade romance began. I can't remember ever saying a word to her but we did exchange some pretty intense cross-class stares. Alas, all good things come to an end. Lisa took a liking to Jasper and she had her friend tell me that we had broken up.
I would have been heartbroken but the next day she came into class with her beautiful long hair cut into a rat tail. Poor Jasper had to stare across the room at that. I still think that is why he stole and broke my pencil, she was mine when she was cute, his when she looked like a shaved Barbie.
Lisa was the first and last girl to ever break up with me. Every other relationship ended because we moved, my mother forbid me to talk to the girl because of issues she had with the girl's mother, or I was ready to move on.
I have no frame of reference when it comes to dealing with being dumped. I can tell ya how to break up (I recommend moving, it is by far the easiest), but when it comes to having your heart broken by the fairer sex, I have no experience to draw from.
This realization struck me earlier this week when my youngest son broke it off with his girlfriend. It was his choice so I didn't have to give advice but if he had needed it, I had nothing. My standard advice for guys in this situation doesn't really apply to my 15 year old son. "Go fuck someone else, you'll feel better" just doesn't seem appropriate.
I have no conclusion here. I'm really at a loss for how to respond should any of my children ever get their hearts broken. Right now, I'm just praying it doesn't happen before they are of legal drinking age.