I just read a story about a 7 year old boy who was eating a Pop-Tart at school. As he nibbled it down, he formed it into the shape of a gun. The teacher claims she heard the child say "Bang Bang," also. The child claims he was making a mountain. I think the kid and the teacher are lying. The boy was suspended from school for 2 days.
As asinine as it is to suspend a kid for 2 days for making a Pop-Tart gun, and as irritated as the story itself made me, the comments at the bottom sent me into a talking to myself shower rant. As of this writing, the second comment in the comment section read, "What I want to know is why he was doing that in the first place. You
never know the real gun might come next. They should of took a
different route though."
Are ya fucking kidding me? You never know the real gun might come next? Because a kid made a gun out of a fucking Pop-Tart? Do you have any idea how fucking stupid that is?
Let me, once again, share the not so secret secret with you pansies-asses, you are going to die. None of your irrational fears will save you or your precious off-spring from eventually leaving this mortal coil. And there is a chance you will die in a way so violent and gruesome that other people will lock themselves in their homes for fear of suffering the same fate.
And ya know what, there is not a god damn thing you can do about it.
Living your life based on worst case scenarios is not living your life. It's a futile attempt to delay the inevitable Banning guns (even the dreaded Pop-Tart pistol), limiting drink sizes, wearing helmets for everything from bike riding to sexual intercourse, none of these things will save you. For fuck's sake, you could drown the next time you take a drink.
And to be brutally honest, if you think a kid making a Pop-Tart gun in anyway might lead him to bring a real gun to school, the most likely cause of your death will be your own fucking stupidity. That is fucktarded on a level few get to ever experience. How this moronic mother fucker remembers to breathe is beyond my imagination.
In the interest of full disclosure, I'll tell you I have made a pop-Tart gun. I've made lego guns, play-dough guns, paper guns, hell, I even once made a mashed potato gun. Never once took a real gun to school. And if I'm being completely honest, if I ever get the urge to kill someone I will most likely beat them to death with my bare hands. How's that make ya feel, ya cowardly mother fucker?
That any person would not only have this "real gun could be next" thought but say it publicly without shame shows just how fucking pussified (screw you spell check, pussified is a word) this world has become. Morons like that commenter should be publicly mocked for their blatant stupidity. And anyone who agrees with him should do the world a favor and take a toaster bath.
(Can you believe a reader in high school has informed me my blog is blocked at their school for being "adult content"? Go figure.)