Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Facebook Ranting

Enough about what I can't say, let's move on to things annoying me lately and since facebook was the source of my previous frustration, my ranting is focused on it.

1. I enjoy funny, educational, and motivational sayings as much as anyone but sweet tap dancin' christ, I sometimes get the feeling I'm the only person left that has thoughts of my own.  I imagine my friends greeting each other in public, never saying a word, just exchanging greeting cards.  At this point, I'd settle for hearing about shitty dinner selections.

2. One of these shared pictures is an explanation that fucktarded is not a contraction of fucking retarded.  I'm not sure which fucktard was so deeply in denial about their word choice but it does indeed mean fucking retarded. 

Which leads me to a side rant.  There is nothing wrong with calling someone a retard or saying they are retarded.  Not calling a mentally retarded person retarded won't make them any less retarded.  It's only an insult to actually retarded people if you say it with malice.  Avoiding the word out of ignorance to it's meaning is fucktarded.

Calling someone who isn't retarded, retarded, doesn't insult actually retarded people unless the comparison is to the president in which case you owe the retards an apology.  In all other cases, it's an insult to the person it is said to, not because there is something bad about being retarded, rather, it's because there is something wrong with not being retarded but behaving in such a way that people can't tell the difference.  Retards have an excuse, what's yours? 

3.  I am aware of autism.  Just sayin.

4.  I am also aware of breast cancer, diabetes, depression, animal abuse, child abuse, children starving, sexually transmitted diseases, athlete's foot, the common cold, minor skin irritation, and every other cause you've spammed a million times. 

5.  If you aren't comfortable having your views challenged, you shouldn't be expressing them publicly.  Don't get pissy if I disagree, ignore me, delete me, or get over it. 

6.  Not buying gas for a day doesn't solve anything.  Just means sales will be higher the day before or the day after.  Stop pushing meaningless movements to feel like you contributed to society. 

7.  As someone that actually doesn't care what people think, I do get a good laugh out of all of the "I am just being me" stuff.  For most folks, a more honest posting would read, "please like me."

8.  I sincerely hope that some of the children out there just don't photograph well. Some of those pictures should come with a warning.

9.  A post now and then about how in love you are is sweet.  A post every two seconds just tells the whole world that you're trying to convince yourself that the sense that you're with the wrong person will pass if you just keep repeating it. 

10.  If your god is so petty that he'd smite me for a little humor at his expense, he's an asshole I don't want to be associated with anyway. 

11.  If you're an atheist, shut up.  You don't know the answers anymore than anyone else does.  Being a self righteous douche-nugget is not a character trait you should be so proud of. 

12.  Finally, post what you want to post.  If someone doesn't like it, who cares.  Unless it's me.  If I don't like it, knock it the hell off. 


  1. #11 ... LOVE IT! :) Loved the whole thing, but that one really got me! :) Happy Tuesday!

  2. The one I hate, when someone leaves a cryptic message, without any further explanation but where everyone will ask, what's wrong? Which is just another way of saying "please pay me some attention!"
    One of the many reasons, why my facebook account had to go. :)

  3. I'm with lily!! I hate the cryptic messages! Those drive me insane. Either tell me something or tell me nothing but stop being an attention seeking whore. Drives me nuts!

  4. I think I can sum up your 12 points with a statement from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

    "Tell ya what, dipshit. If you don't like my policies you can come on down here and smooch my big ole' white butt."

  5. Well, I post a lot of that sweet sloppy love stuff, and plenty of inspirational quotes to fill up everyone's page, but just as you note, no one is obliged to have me in their newsfeed or on their FB at all! There are several people I friend but don't have on my newsfeed because the content of their pages is often not appropriate for younger readers that are on mine. As for freedom of speech, I am obviously an advocate of the right to say what you want to, being aware that others have the right to dissent. My only issue comes with folks who post rants/topics/language strictly for shock effect, because they can. It reminds me of Bevis and Butthead and their laughter over saying certain words... yeah, of course you can, but why, what does it say about your intelligence if the only way you can express yourself is with vulgarity in every other sentence? I enjoy most of your FB posts, Monkey, they are always guaranteed to inspire a few replies! :-)